It hurts...

Loneliness... it really hurts.
and I still can't understand why the hell do I keep trying. Everytime I fall on my knees, I just find something to gimme strength and carry on... just to get smacked on the face again. Sometimes I wish this would all end soon. I don't wanna be hurt anymore, I can't stand it....

I just wanna cry... like I haven't been able to do in a long time...

tears just won't come... but now... thinking about it... they're finally flowing back...
and it feels good.... it feels good to cry... to feel alive. Since I can't be happy, seems like that's the only way to feel alive...

Sadness... it hurts. But at least I know I'm alive...
I don't want a friend... I want someone I can count will be there for me.... Will be waiting for me... Will be longing and wanting me....

I don't want respect... treat me like garbage... treat me like nothing... but look at me... hold me... I can't go on like this. but if I can't be happy... I'll just hold on to this sadness... to these tears...
omfg... how can it feel so good to feel sad? how can it feel so good to cry?

I wanna be... away from here.